Monday, September 8, 2014

Better to be nice, or honest?

I want to start this post out with a simple statement, I don't claim to be a nice person. Never had. And there is a very good reason for that. I'll get to that later, I just wanted to get it out of the way.

Earlier today I was blocked on twitter by someone who I considered a friend. They found something I retweeted offensive, told me so and before I could respond, blocked me. At first I was hurt, because like I said, I considered them a friend and didn't expect to be blocked by them for having an opinion that was different from theirs. As the day went on, I realized why they did it and while I respect the reason, it only pissed me off more. Especially since they had posted things I found offensive and I didn't do anything as drastic, but to each their own.

I don't go out of my way to offend anyone. I'm not like that, but like I said earlier, I don't claim to be nice. My mom didn't raise me to be nice and kind and to let me walk all over me. She raised me to be honest, not to bullshit people, and to speak my mind. That, and the fact that I lost many people I was close to, I tend to be closed off. I don't want to risk being hurt like I have been in the past.

I know I can come off as abrasive and mean, or as an asshole, and trust me, I don't attempt to. I have my own opinions and I tend to stick by them, even if I am the minority and people are ganging up on me. I don't feel bad that I was sacrifice my ideals for other people, and in all honesty, real friends wouldn't make you.

Going back to the "I don't claim to be nice" statement, I've discovered something with it. People don't expect me to be a nice guy, and don't tend to be AS upset when I tell them something they don't want to hear. When people ask me why I'm being mean, I tell them that I was just speaking what I perceived as the truth and that I don't mean to hurt their feelings.

But my question, the one I've been dealing with all day is as followed: is it better to be nice, or honest? 

Being nice tends to mean one would have more friends, you get invited to parties, more people would  want to hang out with you. You'll have more people to spend time with and to hang with. And that's great, for some. But it's not for me. Being nice does get you more "friends" but none of them tend to get to know the real you. Unless you're a truely nice person, but it haven't met any of those.

Being honest tends to make people angry at you. Now, being honest does not mean being mean. I don't mean purposely hurt someone's feelings or to go out of you're way to crush someone's dreams. I just mean that I don't bullshit anyone. I speak my mind, and while I do it in the nicest way I can, I still so it. Always. 

I came to the conclusion that I want to be honest. It's better for me, and my mental health. I know that the people who are truly my friends will understand and won't judge me. And to anyone else, fuck you, I dont need you adding stress on me.

No comments:

Post a Comment